tempo: moderato

every paper return recently is a disappointment...

most of the essay based papers were screwed up due to wrong question choice. others were screwed due to really stupid and gross errors. for maths i wrote "7z" as "72z". its very unforgivable cos i write "z" with a stroke across somemore. and for econs i labeled the demand curve as the supply curve for one question, causing my entire analysis to be wrong.

in short, i screwed up my prelims. and i felt really lousy esp over GP. i know i wld score not fantastically, but i didnt expect myself to screw it up so bad. i dropped 5 grades. higher you climb, harder you fall.. i felt super bad abt it cos this is the GP paper which i spent the most time ever on. i spent the most preparations over this time's GP and i did the worst ever. and its so bad that it made me one of the last 4 in class. it was so unforgivable. i felt very stifled and really want to rant over it, but i suddenly realised i had no one to talk to. yes, i do have friends, but somehow, i dont feel comfortable talking to anyone abt it. it felt so surreal and so overwhelming. in the end, i went to talk to ms claire abt it. it wasnt just abt the grade but also the way i handled relationships. she cleared my mind over several issues and i never felt so much better. emotions swelled, tears flowed, but its time to move on.

**

honestly, i hope all the papers can be returned all at one go. then can all emo once thru can pick up quickly. or else take back a screwed up paper, emo, recover, take back another screwed up paper, emo again. speaking of which, many ppl are breaking down lately. i shld bring more tissue arnd these days. nows really a good time for friends to mentally support each other

working hard towards A lvls!