well.. a years coming to a close again. and the last time i blogged.. was almost one year ago =) not like anyone views my blog anyway. just jotting down things that is worth remembering every now and then

sometimes i have alot of plans to write something in my blog, but when i turn on the laptop i start doing other things like arranging my music or reading up on the internet and trying to clear space outta my pathetic C drive that becomes full out of no reasons...

anywayz that aside. now that im pretty *sian, im blogging. whatever. (* there is a difference btw sian and bored. bored is when you have nothing to do and you feel empty. sian is when you have something to do but you dont feel like doing it and hence feel empty)

just came back from china, if you consider like... 2 weeks ago recent? afterwhich is band...band... and more band... which more or less equates to stress...frustration...want-to-kill-people-ness occastionally.. theproliferation of such negative emotion is largely due to too large a concentration of juniors who a) wouldnt learn b) try to learn but never get it right c) dont turn up d) are too opiniated e) are really lame f) likes to drown himself in self sorrow g) wouldnt try new things h) never practises until he is required to play i) dont have initiative j) who pissed off the percussion tutor recently [add on to un-exhaustive list] its ridiculous how they managed to just piss off dennis sim recently.. and i thought they would only be able to do that to seniors cos they dont have the 'adult authority' seems that they just want to prove me wrong as always..

other people laugh at me... non band people say "why you still go for band". other band people say "why you still bother about them" sometimes i wonder too..i mean.. usually i just end up getting myself frustrated and angry. when things go wrong, i get blamed. not like when something is done right i get credited or anything. i dont ask for credit, since im used to a) being not credited/acknowledged and b) other people stealing credit from me. i just dont want to be accused for not doing anything. so why do i still bother about that rotting section that i always want to improve and hope that it grows? well, as usual, when i cannot answer a question, i practise self-deception. the official step down date is 31 Dec 2006. and im a person of principle and i adhere strictly to the step down date. thats all. simple. if the juniors dont like my presence, too bad, im just doing my job, like it or not. everytime when i see jh on the verge of giving up, or rather when he gives up, i tell myself i cannot be like him. cos i have a duty, a responsibility that i must carry on till everything done. i will only leave, when they are mature enough, independent enough, which i hope they can acheive by 31 Dec 2006, though i very much doubt it. i will still wash my hands off when the time comes, perhaps the 'new generation' of SL can handle them better. thats one reason why i still have not passed down the sticks of leadership to wil yet. just cannot trust them.

whatever away from these crap.. im changing furniture soon. the set of furniture in my room is like 10 yrs old?? i used it since i was a kid... so im going to empty out my room and change to some new furniture which is totally like modern concept, zen design, yea! sliding wardrobe, hydrolic bed etc... and one of my potential interior designer's name is 'best'. its kinda creative isnt it? 'hi im Best, THE best'. ha

this is practically the first post of the year. first (and maybe last? god knows when will be the next time i blog anyway)